


Animal I Have Become

by britishatheart



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-01
Updated: 2012-04-08
Packaged: 2017-11-02 21:17:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/373427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/britishatheart/pseuds/britishatheart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blood, sweat and tears were basically the definition of a day in the life of the Five-0s — except with less tears and more blood — so at some extent, they were used to it. But, how would they react when one of them is rushed to the hospital with his life hanging by a thread?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part One

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on my FanFiction.net account.  
> This is something that I thought about while listening to a Three Days Grace song, "Animal I Have Become", ergo the title.

_A day at the office was never just that when the office in question was the Hawaii Five-0 Task Force Headquarters._

_They had some quiet and calm days but those were the exception for the rule, happening like once in a lifetime. For the most part, they had to work their asses of to make sure that criminals of all sorts — they were democratic — behind bars for as long as they could, keeping the aina safe._

_But doing so is a bit more complicated than saying and one of the things that the Fantastic Four learned is that, going after the bad guys might come with a cost sometimes. Injuries of all sorts were sort of part of the job description. They were all used to scratches, cuts, bruises, sprains, strains even dislocated joints; basically everything and anything that would come as a result of catching the perps. And those minor things were easy to handle — a piece of cake._

_And then, there are bullets._

_Even though they hardly ever got shot, it happened every now and then. They all tried to avoid it but it still happened eventually._

_**Today was eventually.**_

**—H50—**

**Part One**

**.** __

_"I can't escape this hell  
so many times I've tried  
but I'm still caged inside  
somebody get me through this nightmare"_

_**.**  
_

   The silver Camaro was once again flying through the streets of O'ahu. Traffic laws were a very high second priority for the man behind the steering wheel; his foot was keeping the gas pedal close to the car's floor. He was a man with a mission and nothing would keep him from achieving it — not even the laws that he was supposed to make prevail.

  What are laws when someone is fighting for its life? Was it really still the same or personal connection clouded the judgment, making once very well defined lines became blurry?

  Blurry it was, he decided as he made a sharp turn, not really understanding how the car didn't flip over. He didn't have time to think about that; the only thing he had in mind was to get to the goddamned hospital where his partner was being rushed to with a bullet hole in his chest.

  He cursed the shooter — who, lucky his, was already dead because, if he wasn't, then he'd pretty soon —, cursed his partner, cursed the vest that he wasn't wearing, cursed the entire universe for dragging them into that nightmare.

  It really was a nightmare. And he had reached the very center of it.

  He saw the ambulance with its back doors open and no one inside it. At least he's already receiving medical treatment was the only thought that crossed his mind as he killed the engine of the Camaro next to the Queen's Medical Center — not exactly bothering to park it in a decent way — and rushed out of the car and into the hospital.

 

  As he barged inside the building, he felt like the air was too thick for him to breathe as he took in the scene. He saw the paramedics. He saw the gurney. He saw nurses and doctors. But the fact that he was seeing a small group of nurses and doctors gathered around his wounded partner didn't cheer him as it should, after all, there's only so much that can make someone feel less worried when you literally felt someone's life extinguish right beneath your touch.

  Touch.

  He felt a hand landing on his shoulders as he struggled to breathe in a decent rhythm. Are you alright? Am I alright? What the hell kind of thought is this? Am I alright? He's dying! Who cares about me? Talk to me. I don't want to talk! Enough with the talking! I don't have time for this! Are you alright? Hell, I already said—

  "Sir, I need you to talk to me!" There was a shake and he finally snapped out of his trance. There was a nurse talking to him. Actually talking to him, but he wasn't processing that... At least not until now. "Is this your blood?"

  "Blood?" The nurse’s eyes went down his body and he followed. What he saw made him want to vomit — he didn't do it though. His clothes were covered in blood. Red ominous blood. And his hands... My God, that was an awful lot of blood. Could he— No, he interrupted his own thoughts immediately. He could. **He would.**

  "I need help here!" The nurse yelled as her grip around his arm tightened.

  She didn't need help. "This... This is not my blood." His voice was weak and he wouldn't blame the woman if she didn't believe him. He didn't believe what was happening. "This is not my blood," he repeated his words and, this time, he sounded more confident.

  The nurse also noticed he wasn't as pale, compared to when he ran though the sliding glass doors, into the hospital. But she didn't take back the call for help.

  "It's my partners... It's..." His voice faded. The rest of his sentence died in his throat. It was his partner’s blood. His friend’s.

  The woman suddenly recognized the man who was standing in front of her, and when her eyes landed on the badge on his right side, she knew she was right. He was from the Governor's Task Force. Five-0. Now she understood how he was managing to keep it together. Barely, but still...

  "Alright, sir. I'm gonna ask you to si—"

  "DON’T! Do not tell me to sit down. I am not going to sit down until I know how he is."

  _Of course you won't_ , the nurse thought to herself. And it wasn't because he was a cop that she knew he wouldn't listen to what she was saying, which was basically sit and wait. It was because someone he knew was being rushed to the OR and, due to personal experience, she knew that it was too much to ask for a relative or friend to stay calm when someone they care about is being cut open.

  "Okay," she said, giving up the fight before it even started. She would lose it anyways. "Why don't you wait here and I'll go see how is he?" He just nodded. "Good. In the mean time, why don't you go clean yourself a bit?"

  Clean. That was a lousy yet good suggestion. He muttered an alright and allowed the second nurse to escort him to a bathroom where he could get rid of the blood that was starting to dry in his hands...

  As the water turned red, washing the blood of his partner from his hands, he remembered the two cousins. They still didn't know about the shooting.

  With a tired sigh, he pulled his phone out of his pocket, found a number and pressed dial. One ring and Chin Ho Kelly's voice came through the speakers. Even though he was the picture of calmness, he sounded pretty stressed out after hearing the news.

  He hung up and let his phone rest on the sink; he also had his both hands, spread flat open on the cold marble.

  Cold. Even though the weather in Hawaii was warm, he was shivering. And as he looked up, he saw the man in the mirror shaking.

_Why? How the fuck could this happen?_ **WHY?!**

  There were no answers for those questions. He didn't want no answers. Because the truth was, whatever was the motivation that drove someone to commit an act of violence against someone else, in his opinion, was dismissible. And when the violence escalated and/or rebounded and hit someone close to him...

  He couldn't tell how long he stayed in there, leaning against that sink and just trying to calm his nerves that, not minutes ago were frayed. He just stood there, completely unaware to the universe surrounding him and he didn't even notice when the door behind him opened and someone walked inside the tiny WC.

  "Danny?"

  The man who had been staring at his own pale, blonde figure on the mirror, turned to face who had called his name. Not that he needed to look at him to know who it was; he had recognized the voice. It was Chin Ho Kelly.

  Danny looked behind the Asian man but he didn't see anyone else. But then again, he was in a man's WC — not that it would stop Kono from getting in there...

  "Are you okay, brah?" Chin asked slightly worriedly.

  He knew about the shooting already and he knew it should be Steve's blood that was covering Danny's once gray shirt and tailored trousers but still, he couldn't be too careful.

  Once again, Danny sighed. That question. He managed to avoid that the first two times he was asked but he didn't think he'd be able to deliver silence and get away with it.

  "Yes," he finally answered with a tired sigh. He was being honest to an extent. Yes, he was fine... but at the same time, he wasn't. He wasn't hurt but he was. It was complicated.

  Chin Ho just glanced at Danny. The detective seemed to be completely worn out and Chin didn't even need to ask why. Even though he learned what happened to Steve from a phone call, he was also feeling weary.

  "C'mon... Let's get out of here," he said putting a hand on Danny's shoulder. Danny nodded and, with a deep breath, he let go of the sink and walked out of the WC, with Chin Ho Kelly right behind him.


	2. Part Two

**Part Two**

.

_"So what if you can see the darkest side of me?  
No one would ever change this animal I have become"_

.

  "Really, Steven? Put this thing back on."

  Danny frowned when Steve took his vest off.

  "You do realize, Daniel, that the point here is trying to do this without drawing unnecessary attention, right?" Steve replied as he tossed the vest back inside the trunk of Danny's Camaro. "Now, you have any idea how much of attention I'll get on me when I get inside that hotel, wearing a Kevlar?"

  Danny shifted nervously in the same place, but didn't answer.

  "Exactly," Steve said as he pulled a shoulder holster. He couldn't carry his gun on his belt either, so, the best thing he could do was to wear the shoulder holster and throw a thin jacket on top of his T-shirt.

  "Just for the record, I'm very much against it," Danny said; his nervousness was still there.

  "Alright, you made your point. But I don't see any other way out of it, can you?"

  Danny muttered a "no" very much against his will.

  He didn't like one bit the fact that Steve was about to walk into a hotel, in which one of the receptionists, Paul Gideon, was responsible for the kidnap, torture and murder of two men already. The guy was a complete sociopath with a gun and that was not a good combo. Besides, one more victim and the guy could be considered a serial killer, and the guy had potential.

  So Danny hated it when Steve decided to play hero and go inside. He was practically walking down the runway, heading straight to the center of the hornet's nest. Probably that was too dramatic, but the thing was, he was going there alone and with no vest. All of his backup would be outside and they didn't have a clear view of the lobby... So yeah, Danny hated the idea.

  "Look, Danny. I'll be fine. I did this before."

  "You did—you did this before. Clearly... You did everything before!" Danny's hands were uncontrollable. "You swam with sharks, you jumped out of airplanes, you—you invaded an old war ship turned into a museum to go after a man with psychological disorder with a gun and dozens of hostages, what else, huh? You saved kittens that were trapped on a tree? You saved the world and the entire humanity from an asteroid?"

  "Relax!" Steve interjected. "Relax, Danno... I never died during any of the things I did."

  If Steve thought that that would be funny, he couldn't be more wrong. Danny's expression was blank and he addressed him the glare of death. If looks could kill, then Steve would be dead right now. Yes sire.

  "Look. I have everything under control."

_Really, Steven? Right here, right now, you can actually tell me that you have everything under control? You have a psycho under control without even seeing him?_

  That rant only happened in Danny's head. What he actually said was. "You're an animal."

  Steve just gave him his signature half smile as he finished strapping the shoulder holster and put his SIG-Sauer on it, and then wore the dark grey thin jacket over it all to conceal it.

  Last but not least, he took a small earbud — one of those that don't need wire — and put it in his ear, so that he could keep in touch with his backup, which was basically Danny and some police officers; Chin and Kono were trying to get Gideon's partner.

  Danny and the four HPD officers stayed put. The blonde detective cursed no one in particular for that. He shouldn't be dealing with that... not really.

  Why on Earth Rachel had to marry with a guy who'd move to Hawaii? Why couldn't she have found someone that would've had stayed in New Jersey? Because if she did, then he wouldn't have to move to that pineapple infested hell hole, get to work with that insane and lunatic person that he had for a partner, and he most definitely would not have to get worried all the time! Hell, he was feeling more stressed out in Hawaii then he did back in New Jersey! What the hell?

  Danny rubbed his face with a hand as he listened carefully, waiting for any word from Steve.

  "Did you find him already?" Danny asked, not really being able to handle the silence.

_"Oh, you mean during the three and a half seconds that I'm in here?"_ Steve's voice came loud and clear through his very own piece of the communicator. _"Not yet, Danny. Just, chill out..."_

  Chill out? Did he just say...? Danny rolled his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose.

  "Don't tell me to chill out," Danny spat at Steve. "Focus on your task."

_"I'd focus better if you didn't keep asking how I'm doing every two seconds."_

  "Hey, I asked once and it was if you had seen him!"

_"And I told you I'd— wait... I saw him."_ Steve's tone changed to a serious one as he finished his sentence.

  Danny was almost saying "alright" when Steve cursed. Loudly.

  "What? What was it?" The blonde was already checking his gun and signaling the HPD to get ready.

_"He saw me too... and he's running. Danny!"_

  "I'm coming!"

  As soon as Steve shouted his name, Danny was already running towards the main doors of the hotel. He quickly instructed two officers to head to the back of the hotel so they could cover a bigger area as he ran into the lobby with two officers behind him.

  "Where the hell are you?" Danny barked; he was in the hotel, but he couldn't see where his partner was. That's one of the reasons why Danny hated splitting up. He couldn't tell for sure where the other was...

_"Emergency exit!"_

  Danny headed to where Steve had said he went but, the moment he walked through the heavy doors, he heard a sequence of sound that made his blood go instantly cold in his veins.

  There were heavy footsteps. There was Steve demanding the man to stop right there. There was a moment of eerie quietness. There was a loud bang.

  A gun was fired and Danny suddenly felt like his heart sinking. It stopped beating for a second and then, somehow, his heart rate was sky-high. He could literally feel it beating twice as fast as he could ever imagine and he was deaf.

  For a moment, Danny didn't hear anything else. The gunshot was echoing in his ears and the blood rushing to his veins along with the pounding of his heart and his feet pushing against the floor.

 He was running. Surprisingly enough, Danny never stopped running, not even after the gunshot. If anything, he ran even faster when that sound hit his eardrums. Danny ran and ran and ran until he saw something that made him stop in his tracks almost instantly, and that was the number one of the reasons why Danny hated splitting up.

  Lying on the ground was his partner.

  Danny didn't take too long looking at him; his eyes soon drifted to the other man standing a few meters from them. The perp that had shot Steve was still there and Danny didn't hesitate in opening fire against him since he still had a .38 in his hands and, when he saw the blonde detective, along with a couple of police officers, he was aiming it at them again; but now, instead of just one man, there were three, which made him hesitate, giving Danny the upper hand.

  Danny didn't know exactly where he shot the man; inwardly, he was aiming for the head, but he knew he missed it when he heard a loud howl.

  Danny left the officers taking care of Paul Gideon as he rushed to Steve. The view made the blood leave his face, like his wounded partner pointed out.

  "You l— you look like... like you've seen... a ghost, Danno."

  Steve could barely speak. As Danny crouched next to him, the first thing his eyes noticed was this hole in his chest. His once dark green polo shirt was now alarmingly fast turning some tone that resembled black but, as Danny touched it, he noticed it was red. Steve was bleeding out.

  "What did I tell you? Huh? WHAT DID I TELL YOU?"

  "Danny..."

  Steve tried to interrupt Danny but he did not succeed.

  "What happened? Ho—How did this happen?"

  Danny was trying to stop the bleeding — which, even though that was not Danny's area of expertise, seemed to be too close to his heart. Way too close for Danny's liking —, trying to make his partner stop moving and trying to reach for his cell phone — Steve needed an ambulance damn fast. But, when he realized he just didn't have enough hands to do everything, he just gave up on the cell phone.

  "SOMEONE CALL AN AMBULANCE! NOW!"

  Danny didn't notice that, but one of the four officers they had as backup had already requested it; he didn't even hear it when he told him that, seconds before he shouted. Danny had a very clear priority list in his head, and the very first of them was to stop the bleeding.

  "Da—Danny..."

  "If you had listened to me when I told you... If you had actually paid attention to what I say once in your goddamned life..."

  Steve gave up on trying to make Danny listen to him. The blonde detective would not hear him, not when he was so — fixed. So he just lied there, trying to breathe, even though each time he tried to get the air to go down to his lungs, he felt like his whole body was burning, like there were millions of needles and knifes entering his skin as his diaphragm moved up and down, up and down. God that was so painful...

  The pain was so intense that, after a while, Steve didn't even listen to Danny's words anymore. The pain alone obliterated most of his senses. He couldn't tell if those were seconds, minutes or hours... He had completely lost track of time. All of his attention was focused in one single thing that was to keep breathing.

_Inspire. Expire._

_Inspire. Expire._

_That's it. Good rhythm. Keep going._

_Inspire. Expire._

_Inspire. Expire._

  But the pause in between was so damn great. It was almost soothing to not feel any pain, not having to move any muscles. So Steve started to enjoy the moments in between breaths more.

_Inspire. Pause. Expire. Pause._

_Inspire. Pause... Expire. Pause..._

_Inspire._

_Pause._

_Expire._

_Pause._

  Danny noticed the pauses that Steve took were getting longer and longer. At first, they were very brief, just a second or so; but now...

  "Goddamn. Steve, look at me." His eyes were closed, but Danny felt his chest rising beneath his touch. "Open your eyes. C'mon."

  Steve's eyelids flutter; it was hard to do what Danny was asking him to, but he did anyways. There was something about Danny's voice that made him do it.

  "Thank God," Danny said. Relieve didn't even begin to cover what he was feeling. "You stay awake, will you? The EMTs are on its way... Just hold on."

  "D—Danny..."

  Was that really Steve? That couldn't be Steve. The Steve McGarrett that Danny knew didn't talk like that — nor bleed like that for that matter! He didn't. He certainly didn't. Where the hell was that ambulance for God's sake?

  "Danny, I'm... I'm so—"

  "Shut up!" Danny interjected abruptly. "Don't even think about it." Steve's lips moved like he was trying to speak again, but Danny's voice went a note or two louder. "DON'T do it. If you say it. If you try to apologize, I swear to God I will punch you."

  Steve tried to chuckle but he failed. And he tasted blood in his mouth. Suddenly, the pain started to subside. Did Danny manage to stop the bleeding? But Steve got his answer moments later. No, he didn't.

  He was starting to feel tired. Overly tired. He couldn't even keep his eyes open and he wasn't even listening to Danny anymore, even though he could see that he was talking; every now and then, when Steve managed to force his eyes open, he catched a glimpse of Danny's lips moving right in front of him... but he didn't hear anything. There were no rantings. There was no loudness. There was just silence and this darkness that was slowly embracing Steve completely.

  "No... No... No no no! Don't do this, Steve. Don't you dare do this. C'mon... wake up. Open those goddamned eyes! WAKE UP!"

  Danny still had both of his hands on Steve's chest, right above the hole the bullet did when he felt it.

  Actually, he didn't feel. That was the problem.

  Steve's heart wasn't beating. It wasn't beating on its own.

  "C'mon," Danny said through gritted teeth as he started CRP.

_One. Two. Three. Four. Five..._ **Nothing.**

_Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten..._ **Nothing.**

_Eleven. Twelve. Thirteen. Fourteen. Fifteen..._ **Still nothing.**

  "Damn you, Steven! I. Told. You. To. Wear. The. Stupid. Vest. You. Animal."

  Each word that came out of Danny's mouth was punctuated by a compression. He was determined to make Steve's heart beat again. He would not lose his partner like that. He would not. And Steve would be damned if he gave up now.

  The EMTs arrived less than a minute after Danny started the cardiac massage, trying to make Steve's heart start pumping again. Danny felt a hand on his shoulder and heard something that he didn't make much sense out of; it was only when he saw a man with a device that would push air into Steve's lung and he heard someone asking for a defibrillator, that he stopped doing that and allowed the professionals to take over.

  Danny watched, helpless, as they shocked Steve's body right there, before his eyes. The EMTs had attached a heart monitor to Steve and Danny saw it when it accused a peak, only to go flat line seconds later.

  The continuous beep was maddening, but, not even when the monitor showed a somewhat regular rhythm, sign that Steve's heart was beating again, not even when he saw that and saw Steve being placed inside the ambulance and the driver instantly took off, heading to the Queen's, not even then Danny relaxed.

  He had just felt someone die in his arms. He saw and felt Steve's heart giving out and stopping right beneath his touch.

  Danny doubted he'd ever forget that. And he doubted that he'd relax any time soon...


	3. Part Three

**Part Three**

**.**

_"Help me believe it's not the real me  
Somebody help me tame this animal I have become"_

**.**

   Danny waited. And waited. And waited. He waited until he couldn't wait no more, but still, he didn't leave.

   He couldn't leave.

   Why?

   Because Steve died. In his arms. Steve McGarrett, his partner, his friend, his best bud, his brother from another mother... Danny felt Steve's heart stopping right beneath his touch.

   Of course the EMTs brought him back moments later but that didn't erase the fact that Danny felt and saw the life slowly leave his friend's body. His very fragile and completely human body.

   What a nightmare... It was one long and hideous nightmare...

   Chin and Kono were at the hospital as well. Like Danny, they were waiting for someone to come out and tell them something, anything about Steve.

   He'd been in surgery for the past six hours and they doubted he'd leave the OR in the next sixty minutes... It wasn't a minor injury, that one was big. Life threatening said one of the nurses that Kono spoke to when she and Chin first got there. So, no one could really blame Danny, Chin or Kono for being that frightened.

   What else could they be feeling right now? The options were pretty slim, even with them trying to stay positive. Trying being the key word.

   Chin and Kono were doing that just fine, although Danny...

   How do you tell one person to stay positive when he already faced death very closely? How do you tell someone who witnessed life being drained of a body that everything would be okay?

   You don't. And, even if you do, they won't believe you, because they saw it, first hand, how fragile life is...

   Danny saw how fragile Steve really was, and that wasn't something he could just delete from his memory.

   The cousins were on the edge with the waiting, but there was something else making them feel more startled. Danny.

   They lived with Danny for long enough to know that, when the blonde was quiet, then there was a something very wrong with him.

   "Danny?"

   Chin and Kono tried to get Danny's attention but all they got in response was some grunts and one word or very short sentences as answer.

   "Can I get you anything?"

   "No."

   "Water?"

   "No."

   "You need to eat something."

   "I'm fine."

   "Danny—"

   "I said I'm fine."

   So they stopped asking anything. Danny was going through a lot already and he didn't need to deal with anything else. But they kept an eye on him, just in case…

**—H50—**

   It was dawn when they finally heard from the doctors and surgeons that had hauled Steve into the OR when he first got there, twelve long hours ago.

   "McGarrett's Family?"

   Danny, Chin and Kono stood up promptly.

   The surgeon arched an eyebrow but didn't say anything; he was well aware of whom he had on his OR table and one of his scrub nurses had told him that the rest of the Five-0s were waiting.

   "Mr. McGarrett's out of surgery," he said as he finished taking his mask off.

   "Is he gonna be okay?" Danny asked before the elder man could say a word more.

   "During surgery, he went into cardiac arrest." As they heard those words, Chin and Kono held each other and Danny ran his hand down his face. "We managed to get his heart beating again, but… his current condition will require especial attention. We'll monitor him for the next twenty four to forty eight hours."

   "When can we see him?" Danny asked promptly.

   The surgeon looked at the three people standing in front of him. They seemed to be really relieved but they still looked tired. Although it wasn't the only thing they were letting show; they were also apprehensive and showing signs of uneasiness. Those people were really his family.

   "The nurses are getting him ready and we'll move him to a room shortly and you'll be able to see him," he explained. "But only one of you can go in. The others, I'm afraid I'll have to ask you to stay outside. Mr. McGarrett just went through a major surgery and need to rest."

   They all nodded then Chin rested a hand on Danny's shoulder.

   "You go, brah."

   Danny looked at the cousins, not really knowing what to say. Kono and Chin gave him a reassuring look and he agreed.

   "I'll go," Danny said looking at the doctor. He nodded in agreement.

   "Alright. Follow me, please."

**—H50—**

   Seeing Steve like that, wrapped up in bandages, with an IV line sending liquids back into his body and wires connected to his body and machines that were making constant noises sent a shiver down Danny's spine; he felt like his heart had suddenly vanished, turned into jelly, sank in his body and got lost. He felt like there was a hole inside his chest and he couldn't cover it no matter what and he had to hold tightly onto the end of the bed. Steve didn't look like the Super SEAL he usually was...

   That view scared Danny to the bones. He knew his partner's condition was still very delicate — Steve had lost a lot of blood and his heart went into cardiac arrest at least two times — and he was basically on his own now, but Danny wouldn't really leave Steve alone.

   He walked around the bed and sat on the armchair next to the bed. It was cushioned and quite comfortable but Danny would have sat on the hard floor if it was necessary. He would not leave his side this time; he made that mistake twelve hours ago, but not now.

   So, once again, Danny waited.

   He sat on that armchair and waited. But, this time, he didn't have to wait too long.

   He stayed with Steve throughout the rest of the night. He hadn't slept, was still wearing the scrubs that a nurse had gently gave to him so he could take off the bloody clothes he was wearing and stop scaring everyone at the hospital.

   It was near 6 a.m., just about three hours after Steve left surgery when a change on the pattern of the beepings and whooshings made Danny open his eyes startled.

   He had dozed off at some point but he was still well aware of his surroundings. Although, it was quite a surprise when he found Steve looking at him.

   "Hey Danno..."

   Steve's voice was husky and as loud as a whisper but it was his voice. Steve even tried to smile but it didn't look alright, not when he looked like that...

   "Wha—what's with the... aneurysm face... partner?"

   For what could have been the first time ever, the loud-mouthed detective from New Jersey was speechless. Danny didn't say anything, although his mouth opened and closed a few times.

   He was overwhelmed, and Steve was seeing right through it.

   "Danno..."

   "You..."

   Steve might have been trying to say something but he was interrupted when Danny stood. He'd finally found his voice again, but still, he couldn't quite find the right words — **if** there was such thing as _right words_...

   Steve could see that Danny was breathing quite rapidly, and he couldn't decide whether that was a good or a bad thing. Danny was talking again so he wasn't having a brain hemorrhage, but he appeared to be very pissed...

   "You..." Danny was pacing, fidgeting, trying so very hard to not yell at that stupid... He just waved it off and, with heavy steps, he stomped towards the room's door, cracked it open and, putting only his head outside, he shouted: "I need a doctor in here!"

   It was beautiful how someone talking just a little bit out of the calm tone in a hospital could set everything in motion.

   Danny hadn't had time to either close the door or push it wide open and there were three nurses running towards room 205, where Steve was currently staying.

   As they saw that Steve was awake, they asked Danny to wait outside. And he would have had argued if he wasn't too... mad.

   He pulled his phone and texted Kono and Chin. He could've called them, sure, but, despite his current state of mind, Danny knew that if he called them and actually talked to them, it would give them the wrong idea. So, he tapped on a few buttons and sent a very brief text message saying just the basics: Steve's awake. Period.

**—H50—**

   Surprisingly enough, Kono and Chin appeared about fifteen minutes later. Pretty damn fast in Danny's opinion, but, as Kono explained him later, she was heading to the beach as she got the message, then, she gave up on that and called Chin. He was already up and she said she was picking him in a couple of minutes. The traffic was very light so, _voilá_ , they got there in record time.

   It was actually good that they got there so fast because, when the doctor and the nurses left Steve's room soon after they arrived, Danny started to feel his stomach turning into knots and his temper was once again putting him on edge. If he saw Steve now, he'd definitely need to stay in that hospital for a little longer so he told Chin and Kono to go ahead...

   He needed some air.

.

   Kono found Danny outside the hospital.

   He was just standing there, near the sidewalk, just staring at nothing in particular.

   From where she was standing, he looked less stressed out so she decided it was safe enough to come closer.

   "Hey," she said as she stood next to him.

   "Hi..." Danny didn't look at Kono, but it wasn't a big deal since she was focusing on something in front of them.

   "I brought you some coffee," she said handing him a small cup that she'd bought at the hospital's cafeteria. "It's actually really good," she said offering Danny a smile.

   "Thanks," he said as he took it from her hands. Danny noticed the small smile on her lips and then, he found himself smiling back at her. It felt like he didn't smile in ages...

   "You're welcome."

   Danny sipped from it and Kono was right. It was really good. He brought the paper cup back to his lips and savored the tasty liquid.

   "How's he doing?" he asked casually. He noticed his hands were shaking a bit — and he knew it had nothing to do with the weather — so he held the cup with both hands.

   "He's alright... Looks like he was run over by a truck, but he's okay. Already trying to act tough," she said half amused.

   Danny half grunted, half chuckled as he got busy with the coffee again. He wasn't ignoring Kono, he just didn't know what to say.

   "Maybe he learned it this time," Kono said looking at Danny. He looked back at her and arched an eyebrow.

   "Do you really believe that?"

   "Not really..."

   "Yeah... That's what I thought."

   "But it did scared him good enough to give us a break for, I'd say, a month," she said tilting her head to her left.

   "Let's hope for a little longer."

   "You know you can't avoid him forever, right? He's your partner. He's your best friend..."

   "He screwed up. He could've died... Hell, Kono, he died on me. For just a few moments but still... If this was NJPD, he'd be sidelined for putting himself in a dangerous position."

   "You should talk to him."

   "I'm fairly certain that I wouldn't talk."

   "Then yell at him," she said simply, which made Danny frown as he looked at her. "Who knows, maybe he'll see the bigger picture and the real size of the mess and maybe, just maybe, he'll understand..."

   "Do you think?"

   Kono nodded. "I do. If it was me, on that bed..."

   "God, no," Danny said raising a hand, indicating her to stop. "Please, don't. I don't need more images of people on hospital beds..."

   "Alright," she said softly. "But, I'm saying... it's worth a shot. Talk to him."

   Danny looked at Kono and, for a moment, that was all that he did. She was right.

**—H50—**

   Danny returned to the hospital but he stopped in front of Steve's room's door.

   "Go ahead, brah," Kono said softly tapping on his shoulder.

   With a short nod and a deep breath, Danny knocked on the door before entering the room. As he expected, Chin was there with Steve.

   "Did you just knock?" Steve asked looking at the door, where Danny was standing like a statuesque.

   "I'll go get a coffee," Chin said and, without another word, he left the room, leaving Steve and Danny alone.

   "Look, Danno, I—"

   "No, no, no. Stop. Just stop."

   Danny had walked towards the edge of the hospital bed. There were no sings of warmth in his words nor in his body language.

   Danny had stopped with his back turned to Steve as he looked out the window, although he wasn't looking anywhere in particular. He was actually thinking about what Kono had just told him.

_"The yell at him. Who knows, maybe he'll see the bigger picture and the real size of the mess and maybe, just maybe, he'll understand..."_

   Steve shifted uncomfortably on his bed. He could almost feel the tension coming from Danny's body and he couldn't exactly blame him... he remembers perfectly what happened, why he was there...

   "Danny..."

   "I said no," Danny said quite authoritative. "Just shut up, for god's sake," he added in a lower tone as he rubbed his temples.

   Steve looked at his weary partner, friend and did as he said. He could tell that Danny's nerves were in tatters.

   "You," he said turning to look at Steve. "Are an animal."

   Steve saw something in Danny's eyes that made him feel guilty. He saw pain. Pure and raw pain in Danny's eyes, and he knew he'd caused him that.

   "Danny, I'm so—"

   "You're sorry? **You're sorry?** " Danny shifted on the same place. "Hell you better be! Do you have any idea what you put me through for the past, I don't know, twenty four hours?" Obviously Danny wasn't letting Steve answer that... "I'll tell you what I've been through... YOU DIED! YOU DIED ON ME! YOU TOOK A BULLET AND YOUR GODDAMNED HEART STOPPED BEATING!"

   "Danny."

   "Nonono. Do not " _Danny_ " me. Okay... You don't get to do this because you could've been gone FOREVER! Do you have any idea what forever means? It means that someone would have to call Mary and tell her that her brother with a complex of a super hero is not with us anymore AND GUESS WHO'D HAVE TO DO THAT!"

   Steve swallowed hard. Not a word that Danny had said was incorrect... It was all true.

**—**

   Kono and Chin were standing right outside Steve's room, and the damn well could hear everything that was going in there... And they weren't the only ones; the entire hospital could hear it.

   "What the hell?" asked a nurse as Danny started to yell on the other side of the door. "Isn't that... Page Dr. Jones... And call the security."

   "Ma'am, that won't be necessary," Kono intervenes before the woman on the phone could call security.

   "This is a hospital!"

   "Just give them a minute."

   "There is a patient in there! Who needs to rest!"

   "Just a minute... They're kind of like brothers and, well, Danny already lost a brother. He just can't lose another one."

   The nurse glared at Kono, but the Asian held her ground.

   "Please? Then we'll get the hell out of here."

   "Fine," she said through gritted teeth. "But something goes off in that room, I'll call security, and I don't care if you're Five-0 or the Pope, I'll..."

   "Thank you."

**—**

   "How much would it take for you to just listen to me once in your goddamned life? Huh? When is it ever going to happen?"

   Steve looked at Danny. The detective was still glaring at Steve.

   "Can I answer that or you'll start yelling at me again?"

   "ANSWER IT!"

   "Alright... Okay... Look, Danny. I screwed up. I know that I did."

   "Well, thank God," Danny shouted throwing his hands in the air. Steve stared at him.

   "May I?"

   Danny addressed him a blank look.

   "But I didn't want things to go that way, Danny. If I knew..."

   "Well, news flash, genius. Things can go sideways! Ever heard of Murphy's law? I'll tell you: What can go wrong, will. Learn it, live it, love it. You can't see the future! So don't just assume that things can't go wrong because **they can**."

   "I know that, Danny," Steve said a bit annoyed. "What I'm trying to say since forever ago is that I didn't mean to put you through this. I am sorry that I did..."

   Danny ran his hands through his tousled hair as he started to pace again.

   "I admit that, sometimes, I act out of impulse and end up doing something you say it's stupid..."

   " _Sometimes_?" Danny asked sarcastically as he stopped pacing. "And _I'd say_?"

   "My point is," Steve continued, willingly ignoring Danny's interruption. "I'm sorry. I don't do it on purpose. I just... I just can't help it sometimes..."

   Danny breathed deeply a couple of times, trying to calm himself down.

   "Well, good for you I can."

   "You can what?"

   "Help."

   "Danny..."

   "Shut up. I'm your partner, aren't I? Even though I hate you so much, I don't want to see you dead."

   Steve half smiled.

   "Don't smirk. I hate when you smirk."

   "Thanks Danno."

   "Yeah, don't mention it... animal."


End file.
